Diffusing a Family Argument

It’s not uncommon for family members to eventually get on each others nerves.  Something as simple as a misunderstanding can erupt into a major fight.  How can you calm everyone down and get things back to normal?

The first thing to do is separate the people who are fighting.  If things escalate too far, you may not be able to stop the fight and people could be hurt emotionally or worse, physically.

Talk to both people separately and find out exactly why they are angry.  If a misunderstanding has occurred, this will bring things to light.  If both parties have a legitimate gripe, then it’s going to take more work to find a solution.

Try to remain objective and don’t take sides.  If other people try to intervene, decide whether they are helping or hurting the situation and if they are making things worse, encourage them to stand down.

Speak to each person and remind them that you love them and that they are family.  Get everyone calmed down enough to talk.  If it looks like that will not happen, encourage everyone to separate and spend some time cooling down.

If everyone goes their separate ways for the time being, ask that they immediately write down as many of the details about the situation as they possibly can.  They should also write down as many ideas as they can for resolving the situation.

Sometimes, it just takes time to heal the wounds caused by a major argument.  If this is the only option, then just wait it out.  Remind everyone how important family is and stay in touch with both sides.