Everywhere you go people are
invading your family’s space with foul language, obnoxious behavior, cigarette
and cigar smoke, obscenity, and a host of things that you would prefer to
shield your family from. You don’t have
to back down or run away when you encounter these people.
It is nearly impossible to avoid rude people these days.
The first and most obvious way to avoid confrontation with
rude people is to only take your family to “family-friendly” places. If you are hanging out in a bar at 11:00pm
with your children, you should probably consider leaving rather than asking
everyone to quiet down and stop drinking.
Then later, evaluate why you were there with your children in the first
place. I know, this scenario sounds
absurd, but I witness it all the time.
In a family-friendly environment, people are more polite and more tolerant
of children’s mischief. Usually these places
are smoke-free, don’t serve alcohol, and typically don’t tolerate obscene
behavior. This, in itself, is a
deterrent for a large part of the crowd that you are trying to avoid while
spending family time.
Be prepared because no matter where you take your family, you
will eventually encounter people who have no regard for others and these are
the ones you have to make the decision whether to confront or avoid. The easy thing to do is to pick up your
family and move away from them or leave rather than try to correct the
situation, but this approach teaches your children to run away from problems
rather than handle them. Also, this
person may be causing discomfort to a lot of other people and will continue to
do so until their behavior is corrected.
They should be stopped!
Evaluate each situation for what it is. Is the offending person breaking a rule of
the establishment that you are visiting or are they violating any law? Is their behavior affecting other
people? Is your family’s safety or
health threatened because of this person?
If confrontation is the solution you choose, establish friendly contact
with the person and remind them that they are in a family environment and ask
that they refrain from whatever it is that they are doing. Don’t use obscenities or insults and don’t
project threatening body language. Be
polite and speak in a firm voice, but don’t be loud and try to draw
attention. If you embarrass the person
right away, they may retaliate against you for that reason alone. The person may be unaware that their behavior
is offensive and you don’t want to be perceived as the obnoxious one. If they apologize and stop their behavior, return
to your family and try to avoid contact with the person for the remainder of
your visit. Do not discuss what just
happened with your family until you are completely out of that environment.
If the person disregards you or is rude to you, then do a
second evaluation. Is this person
stronger or more physically fit than you?
Could they possibly have a weapon?
Are you outnumbered? If any of
these situations are true, then you should choose your next move wisely. It is not worth sustaining bodily harm or
going to jail for a stupid mistake. If
you have an obvious advantage over the person, repeat your request and inform
them that if their behavior does not improve immediately, you will seek
assistance from security or a manager of the establishment. If these people are not available or if the
person seems unimpressed, then take your mobile phone from your pocket and call
the police. Inform the person that you
are calling the police as you walk away, but be careful to watch your back. The thought of being arrested may influence
the offender to move on or it may cause the situation to escalate quickly.
Do not assault the person or threaten them under any
circumstance! If they attack you, then
you are welcome to defend yourself and any witnesses to the event will surely
corroborate your story if the authorities are involved at a later time. Just be careful not to take on more than you
can handle. Your family’s safety is
absolutely your top priority and you should avoid all of this if possible, but
at some point, you have to make a stand and say “enough is enough” or rude people
will gradually taint every enjoyable family establishment available to the rest
of us.
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