Relationships and dating trends seem to be ever changing, but there are certain key things that always remain constant; the need for love, security, and trust. If you suspect that your husband is being unfaithful, it’s time to find out for sure.
It is not uncommon in an otherwise successful marriage for
one partner to become suspicious of the other at times, especially when the
relationship seems to be struggling or when stress or financial worries begin
to wear you both down. A lack of energy
or sexual interest does not mean that your husband is cheating or that you
should immediately withdraw your trust in him.
It does not mean that he doesn’t love you either. If you want to know for sure whether your man
is true, use some easily attainable resources to find out.
Where does your husband spend most of his time? At work, at home, or hanging out with
friends? Does he seem happy to see you
and eager to come home to you at the end of the day? Sometimes men just need a break. This is not indicative of dissatisfaction
with a relationship. Men, not unlike
women, often discover the need to tap into their emotional wild child that
makes them feel young and crazy again.
Sometimes that involves playing organized sports, or hunting, or fishing. Other guys prefer to drink some cold beers
with their buddies and talk about guy things.
These things should be allowed and should not be considered threats to
women. It’s comparable to women hanging
out and talking to each other over a glass of wine or going out shopping with
the girls. Sometimes both sexes just
need to retreat to their respective corners for a breather. This should not be how either of you spend
the majority of your time, though. That
would indicate a problem.
There should be no secrecy in your marriage with the
exception of maybe a surprise for each other here and there. If your man is being secretive about something
and you don’t receive a surprise in the near future, this should throw a red
flag. Full disclosure should prevail in
a marriage and husbands and wives should not prevent each other from reading
emails, checking phone records, looking at bank statements, or even borrowing
each other’s mobile phones. If this does
not sound like the type of relationship that you share with your husband, then
you should ask yourself why not?
Do not immediately go on jealous rampage and totally freak
him out if you are suspicious because if you’re wrong, you will cause hurt his feelings,
make him angry and instigate a huge unwarranted fight. Instead, warm him up to the idea of being
open and transparent with each other. Send
him an email with a picture of you wearing something pretty. When he is at his computer, ask if he
received it and encourage him to view it.
If he acts weird and doesn’t want you to see his email over-his-shoulder,
you should wonder why. When you’re out
in public, leave your mobile phone in the car and ask him when you are far away
from it if you can borrow his phone.
Again, watch his reaction closely.
Does he hesitate or look uncomfortable?
Offer to help pay the bills if you don’t already. Study the phone bill and the credit card
bills. Look for strange phone numbers. If you find some, call them from a phone that
doesn’t belong to you and see who it is or search for the number online. Don’t pick a fight with the person on the
other line because the contact could be innocent. You’d hate to chew out a florist and then
have them deliver flowers to your door.
If you see strange transactions on the credit cards, tell him that you
are worried that your account may have been compromised and ask him if he knows
about the charges.
Whatever you do, don’t just assume that your man is
cheating. We live in an age where paper
and electronic trails drag quietly behind us each day. Infidelity is not impossible to hide, but it
is challenging for a husband to share everything, including the majority of his
time and money with his wife and still indulge another woman on the side. Give him the benefit of the doubt, but if he
does incriminate himself and things go badly, please don’t tell him who tipped
you off. If you are uncomfortable with
searching for these things yourself, then hiring a private investigator may not
be a bad idea.
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