How to Know That Your Husband is Faithful to You

Relationships and dating trends seem to be ever changing, but there are certain key things that always remain constant; the need for love, security, and trust.  If you suspect that your husband is being unfaithful, it’s time to find out for sure.

It is not uncommon in an otherwise successful marriage for one partner to become suspicious of the other at times, especially when the relationship seems to be struggling or when stress or financial worries begin to wear you both down.  A lack of energy or sexual interest does not mean that your husband is cheating or that you should immediately withdraw your trust in him.  It does not mean that he doesn’t love you either.  If you want to know for sure whether your man is true, use some easily attainable resources to find out.

Where does your husband spend most of his time?  At work, at home, or hanging out with friends?  Does he seem happy to see you and eager to come home to you at the end of the day?  Sometimes men just need a break.  This is not indicative of dissatisfaction with a relationship.  Men, not unlike women, often discover the need to tap into their emotional wild child that makes them feel young and crazy again.  Sometimes that involves playing organized sports, or hunting, or fishing.  Other guys prefer to drink some cold beers with their buddies and talk about guy things.  These things should be allowed and should not be considered threats to women.  It’s comparable to women hanging out and talking to each other over a glass of wine or going out shopping with the girls.  Sometimes both sexes just need to retreat to their respective corners for a breather.  This should not be how either of you spend the majority of your time, though.  That would indicate a problem.

There should be no secrecy in your marriage with the exception of maybe a surprise for each other here and there.  If your man is being secretive about something and you don’t receive a surprise in the near future, this should throw a red flag.  Full disclosure should prevail in a marriage and husbands and wives should not prevent each other from reading emails, checking phone records, looking at bank statements, or even borrowing each other’s mobile phones.  If this does not sound like the type of relationship that you share with your husband, then you should ask yourself why not?

Do not immediately go on jealous rampage and totally freak him out if you are suspicious because if you’re wrong, you will cause hurt his feelings, make him angry and instigate a huge unwarranted fight.  Instead, warm him up to the idea of being open and transparent with each other.  Send him an email with a picture of you wearing something pretty.  When he is at his computer, ask if he received it and encourage him to view it.  If he acts weird and doesn’t want you to see his email over-his-shoulder, you should wonder why.  When you’re out in public, leave your mobile phone in the car and ask him when you are far away from it if you can borrow his phone.  Again, watch his reaction closely.  Does he hesitate or look uncomfortable?  Offer to help pay the bills if you don’t already.  Study the phone bill and the credit card bills.  Look for strange phone numbers.  If you find some, call them from a phone that doesn’t belong to you and see who it is or search for the number online.  Don’t pick a fight with the person on the other line because the contact could be innocent.  You’d hate to chew out a florist and then have them deliver flowers to your door.  If you see strange transactions on the credit cards, tell him that you are worried that your account may have been compromised and ask him if he knows about the charges.

Whatever you do, don’t just assume that your man is cheating.  We live in an age where paper and electronic trails drag quietly behind us each day.  Infidelity is not impossible to hide, but it is challenging for a husband to share everything, including the majority of his time and money with his wife and still indulge another woman on the side.  Give him the benefit of the doubt, but if he does incriminate himself and things go badly, please don’t tell him who tipped you off.  If you are uncomfortable with searching for these things yourself, then hiring a private investigator may not be a bad idea.

How to Talk to Your Husband about Problems without Fighting

It seems so cliché to say that men and women do not think alike, but many couples would benefit from acknowledging these differences.  Knowing what to say and how to say it can mean the difference in an amicable resolution and a terrible fight.

It is important for a husband to comprehend, not only his wife’s most pressing concerns, but to dig deeper and find out how these problems affect her emotionally.  Men tend to approach solving problems in the same way that they tackle challenges at work; identify the problem, brainstorm solutions, and fix it.  This works very well for handling many of life’s challenges, but certainly not all of them.  A woman expects her man to automatically adapt to each problem, consider how it affects her on a personal level, and handle it carefully and appropriately.  A man would rather solve a problem quickly, get it behind him, and move on to happier things.  This is where things get a little tricky.

In order to communicate effectively, both men and women have to compromise to some extent.  Husbands need to spend more time learning what makes their wife tick and be able to identify which things are most important to her so that he can carefully match them with any corresponding problems as they arise.  Women need to be patient and realize that not every problem will receive a perfect and timely solution.  Sometimes, it’s acceptable to leave a few things broken in order to address larger problems.

Both a husband and a wife need to use appropriate dialog when speaking to each other.  For example, “Would you mind cleaning up the living room?” is perfectly acceptable.  “You never pick up anything in here!  Look at this mess!  I always have to do everything and all you do is walk in and throw your junk on the floor and leave it for me to clean up!” is a little harsh.  While both phrases will probably get the job done, the latter will lead to aggravation and probably an exchange of vicious words.  Don’t speak in generalities.  Just because your husband overlooks something, don’t berate him and tell him that he doesn’t care.  Avoid using the words “always” and “never.”  Do they really apply?  Speak in a thoughtful manner and if you are addressing a specific concern with your husband, make the conversation about that and don’t jump around and try to include everything that he’s ever done to irritate you.  This will confuse and aggravate him every time because he won’t know for certain which problem is bothering you the most.  Rather than try to fix everything at one time, it is easier for him to retreat.

No matter what problems occur or what difficulties a couple faces, they should commit to several important things to get through to the other side.  Don’t let the sun go down on your problems.  Make the start of each day a good one.  If something is bothering you in the evening, don’t go to bed angry.  At least try to resolve it before you sleep and if you can’t, then declare a truce and resume the argument later.  Don’t leave the house in a fit of rage.  Many people get into fights and one person jumps in the car and screeches off.  It is not safe to drive when you are in a heightened emotional state.  If you need a break from each other, go to separate ends of the house or go outside and get some fresh air, but don’t drive away.  Don’t use cheap insults when speaking to each other and try not to say things you don’t mean just to hurt each other’s feelings.  When the smoke clears and you settle down, things like that tend to leave uncertainty and weird vibes between people.

Speak to each other the way that you would like to be spoken to.  Don’t be condescending or mean.  If you find that it is impossible to have civilized conversations with your spouse, you should seriously question whether your relationship is meant to last.  If you are at this point, seek professional help from a licensed family counselor.