How to Shop for Your Wife

Buy one gallon, get one free!

Spend time talking with your wife. This is good for your relationship overall. Listen for clues as to what interests her at the moment. Try to be very involved in the conversation and ask pointed questions without being too obvious.

Buy a calendar or a personal organizer. Mark her birthday and other important occasions like your anniversary on the calendar and also mark a day, weeks in advance, to remind you to begin shopping for her. An electronic personal organizer is also very useful for this.

Become involved in activities that both of you can participate in. This makes shopping for accessories much easier. For example, if you both start playing tennis together, you can buy her some new equipment or take her on a surprise trip somewhere out-of-town to play tennis. Other activities may involve hiking, camping, or horseback riding.

Start shopping with her if you don't already. I know that clothes shopping can be excruciating for some men, but it allows you to spend quality time doing something that she probably enjoys and if you watch her closely and pay attention, she will identify things that she wants as you go. Only sit in the department store's comfy chairs while she is in the dressing room, trying on her clothes. Get back up and walk around with her when she comes out! The point is to spend time together and to learn more about what interests your wife.

Do not buy clothes for her! This is not a good idea! Also, do not buy anything practical. She may want a blender, but don't give it to her for her birthday. Save practical gifts for non-important occasions. It's also a good idea to check before you buy certain items. Be sure she's finished that half-gallon jug of perfume before you go out and buy her another. (that's a joke, by the way!)

Your wife will recognize a well-though-out gift when she receives it and she will appreciate even more that you have started spending more time together.

How to Make Your Wife's First Mother's Day Special

Mother’s Day is a special day in which we remember the important women in our lives who have earned the distinct honor of motherhood.  The most cherished celebration of Mother’s Day is the first one for a new mom.  Here’s how you can make it memorable.

Celebrate every Mother’s Day by doing special things for your mother and your grandmother. When your wife becomes a mother too, it is crucial that you don’t overlook the importance of recognizing her on this special day. She will remember her first Mother’s Day for the rest of her life. The goal for a caring husband is to make the day special so that she will remember it fondly. Start planning Mother’s Day for your wife months in advance to allow you enough time and savings to make it extra special.

Begin Mother’s Day by allowing your wife to sleep-in.  Attend to the baby’s every need without asking your wife for help and keep the house quiet so that she can rest.  Fix a nice breakfast including her favorite foods, like omelets, pancakes, or crepes.  Serve her breakfast in bed and give her some pretty flowers, but don’t go overboard.  Arrange a few bright and colorful fresh-cut flowers in a pretty vase.  When she is finished with breakfast, give her a long foot massage followed by a soothing body massage.  If the baby is still sleeping, you could also use this time for a little intimacy and maybe share a warm shower together.

Plan an event-filled day and include activities like a trip to the park and a picnic.  Be sure to take your baby along so that you all get to spend time together.  As the strong and loving husband that you are, you should take over the responsibility of feeding the baby, changing all diapers, and carrying as many baby supplies as you can on your own.   While you want your wife to enjoy the company of your child, you also want this day to be very stress-free for her.  Take lots of pictures to include in your photo albums.

Enlist the services of a babysitter, preferably a trusted family member, and take your wife out for an elegant dinner and some entertainment.  Try to plan something that you don’t normally do.  Take her to a nice restaurant that you’ve never tried.  After dinner, go see a play or take a romantic night cruise.  Explore whatever couples-friendly activities are available in your area.  End the evening with a romantic stroll through a safe and well-lit area.  When you find an especially beautiful spot, pull the piece of paper with the special poem from your pocket and read it to your wife.  Share a sweet and passionate kiss with her.  If all of these things are done with love and sincerity, she will remember them in perfect detail for the rest of her days.  If your babysitter is willing to keep your baby all night, surprise your wife even further by reserving a nice hotel room with a Jacuzzi tub.  Find the coziest bar that you can in your area and take her there to enjoy a few of her favorite drinks before retiring to the hotel for the night.

At the end of the evening, when you’re both snug and comfortable in the room and your wife is expressing how wonderful a time she’s had; provide her with one last sweet surprise.  Give your wife her actual Mother’s Day present.  An ideal gift for a first Mother’s Day is one that represents her, you, and your baby in a keepsake that she can hold onto forever.  A picture of the three of you in a nice frame is one idea.  If you are resourceful enough to have made something with your baby’s hand or foot prints on it, this is a good occasion to give it to her.  When it comes to the gift, it’s not the dollar amount that’s important, it’s the thought.  The dollars all go towards the events leading up to this moment.

How to Know That Your Husband is Faithful to You

Relationships and dating trends seem to be ever changing, but there are certain key things that always remain constant; the need for love, security, and trust.  If you suspect that your husband is being unfaithful, it’s time to find out for sure.

It is not uncommon in an otherwise successful marriage for one partner to become suspicious of the other at times, especially when the relationship seems to be struggling or when stress or financial worries begin to wear you both down.  A lack of energy or sexual interest does not mean that your husband is cheating or that you should immediately withdraw your trust in him.  It does not mean that he doesn’t love you either.  If you want to know for sure whether your man is true, use some easily attainable resources to find out.

Where does your husband spend most of his time?  At work, at home, or hanging out with friends?  Does he seem happy to see you and eager to come home to you at the end of the day?  Sometimes men just need a break.  This is not indicative of dissatisfaction with a relationship.  Men, not unlike women, often discover the need to tap into their emotional wild child that makes them feel young and crazy again.  Sometimes that involves playing organized sports, or hunting, or fishing.  Other guys prefer to drink some cold beers with their buddies and talk about guy things.  These things should be allowed and should not be considered threats to women.  It’s comparable to women hanging out and talking to each other over a glass of wine or going out shopping with the girls.  Sometimes both sexes just need to retreat to their respective corners for a breather.  This should not be how either of you spend the majority of your time, though.  That would indicate a problem.

There should be no secrecy in your marriage with the exception of maybe a surprise for each other here and there.  If your man is being secretive about something and you don’t receive a surprise in the near future, this should throw a red flag.  Full disclosure should prevail in a marriage and husbands and wives should not prevent each other from reading emails, checking phone records, looking at bank statements, or even borrowing each other’s mobile phones.  If this does not sound like the type of relationship that you share with your husband, then you should ask yourself why not?

Do not immediately go on jealous rampage and totally freak him out if you are suspicious because if you’re wrong, you will cause hurt his feelings, make him angry and instigate a huge unwarranted fight.  Instead, warm him up to the idea of being open and transparent with each other.  Send him an email with a picture of you wearing something pretty.  When he is at his computer, ask if he received it and encourage him to view it.  If he acts weird and doesn’t want you to see his email over-his-shoulder, you should wonder why.  When you’re out in public, leave your mobile phone in the car and ask him when you are far away from it if you can borrow his phone.  Again, watch his reaction closely.  Does he hesitate or look uncomfortable?  Offer to help pay the bills if you don’t already.  Study the phone bill and the credit card bills.  Look for strange phone numbers.  If you find some, call them from a phone that doesn’t belong to you and see who it is or search for the number online.  Don’t pick a fight with the person on the other line because the contact could be innocent.  You’d hate to chew out a florist and then have them deliver flowers to your door.  If you see strange transactions on the credit cards, tell him that you are worried that your account may have been compromised and ask him if he knows about the charges.

Whatever you do, don’t just assume that your man is cheating.  We live in an age where paper and electronic trails drag quietly behind us each day.  Infidelity is not impossible to hide, but it is challenging for a husband to share everything, including the majority of his time and money with his wife and still indulge another woman on the side.  Give him the benefit of the doubt, but if he does incriminate himself and things go badly, please don’t tell him who tipped you off.  If you are uncomfortable with searching for these things yourself, then hiring a private investigator may not be a bad idea.

How to Talk to Your Husband about Problems without Fighting

It seems so cliché to say that men and women do not think alike, but many couples would benefit from acknowledging these differences.  Knowing what to say and how to say it can mean the difference in an amicable resolution and a terrible fight.

It is important for a husband to comprehend, not only his wife’s most pressing concerns, but to dig deeper and find out how these problems affect her emotionally.  Men tend to approach solving problems in the same way that they tackle challenges at work; identify the problem, brainstorm solutions, and fix it.  This works very well for handling many of life’s challenges, but certainly not all of them.  A woman expects her man to automatically adapt to each problem, consider how it affects her on a personal level, and handle it carefully and appropriately.  A man would rather solve a problem quickly, get it behind him, and move on to happier things.  This is where things get a little tricky.

In order to communicate effectively, both men and women have to compromise to some extent.  Husbands need to spend more time learning what makes their wife tick and be able to identify which things are most important to her so that he can carefully match them with any corresponding problems as they arise.  Women need to be patient and realize that not every problem will receive a perfect and timely solution.  Sometimes, it’s acceptable to leave a few things broken in order to address larger problems.

Both a husband and a wife need to use appropriate dialog when speaking to each other.  For example, “Would you mind cleaning up the living room?” is perfectly acceptable.  “You never pick up anything in here!  Look at this mess!  I always have to do everything and all you do is walk in and throw your junk on the floor and leave it for me to clean up!” is a little harsh.  While both phrases will probably get the job done, the latter will lead to aggravation and probably an exchange of vicious words.  Don’t speak in generalities.  Just because your husband overlooks something, don’t berate him and tell him that he doesn’t care.  Avoid using the words “always” and “never.”  Do they really apply?  Speak in a thoughtful manner and if you are addressing a specific concern with your husband, make the conversation about that and don’t jump around and try to include everything that he’s ever done to irritate you.  This will confuse and aggravate him every time because he won’t know for certain which problem is bothering you the most.  Rather than try to fix everything at one time, it is easier for him to retreat.

No matter what problems occur or what difficulties a couple faces, they should commit to several important things to get through to the other side.  Don’t let the sun go down on your problems.  Make the start of each day a good one.  If something is bothering you in the evening, don’t go to bed angry.  At least try to resolve it before you sleep and if you can’t, then declare a truce and resume the argument later.  Don’t leave the house in a fit of rage.  Many people get into fights and one person jumps in the car and screeches off.  It is not safe to drive when you are in a heightened emotional state.  If you need a break from each other, go to separate ends of the house or go outside and get some fresh air, but don’t drive away.  Don’t use cheap insults when speaking to each other and try not to say things you don’t mean just to hurt each other’s feelings.  When the smoke clears and you settle down, things like that tend to leave uncertainty and weird vibes between people.

Speak to each other the way that you would like to be spoken to.  Don’t be condescending or mean.  If you find that it is impossible to have civilized conversations with your spouse, you should seriously question whether your relationship is meant to last.  If you are at this point, seek professional help from a licensed family counselor.